Ya know,
All of the people surrounding me have been talking about regret for things left unsaid. Either they are talking about lost loved ones or people of their past that they may never see again. I notice, the more something is on your mind, the more your surroundings hint at the solution.
My friend Janae recently lost a friend who was dear to her. Almost right after, she told me about a game she started playing. The point of the game is to talk to people as if you will never see them again...COMPLETE HONESTY...As I have said in earlier posts, I have a crush on someone. He had no idea until a week or two ago. I just told him, and he rejected the offer but we are still friends...and closer friends at that...so I'm pretty happy that didn't go sour :)
I also took her idea to a new level and i started writing all of my friends letters. So far, most of my friends are hard to write to, because there is nothing left unsaid between us. Either way I'm still on that journey and it is interesting to see what i will say about it. Through this little exercise I'm rekindling my appreciation for everyone in my life. Even the assholes that threaten my peace are unknowingly teaching me how to keep a positive focus on my life!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Had a Dream
I had just started dating this guy and he cheated right in front of me...Think that means I'm not ready to date yet. Fuck infidelity!
Still Awake
I got home at 11:45 and it's two. Don't really understand how I have managed to accomplish sleep deprivation every night for the last two weeks. I think I've had a lot on my mind. Not really problems or anything special. There lots of people who worse off than me, but i have been distracted with a lot of stupid stuff.
The BIG thing recently was my roommates, but who cares anymore. I can't teach kids how to grow up. Then there's been money, but who doesn't worry about that in these whack times. I'm picking up a job that I don't necessarily want to do, while doing big things in dance with nothing to really show in terms of money.I'm sure something will come along, but it's still on my mind. My roommates were late with rent again. I'm scared that the credit that took me four years to build is slowly being destroyed by their lack of discipline, but once again, I guess things will work out later. That's just something I will have to deal with. THUGS finally got into some drama with this kat, bboy Remedy. He caught himself disrespecting us and everybody in the group went BAD on him via facebook. So now i guess we have a rival, but it's whatever. We have different goals anyway. We even lost a member over it, but she needed to go. She does not deserve to be in any family of mine if she's so quick to turn her back on it.
I don't know, there's a lot of negative situations that won't really leave my mind, because they are all unsettled. It would be nice if people would just live their lives and quit trying to be what everyone wants them to be. These situations would all be avoided if that happened.
AAAAaaaahhh but anyway, I got to do a photo shoot with my friend Quar today! We were shooting for his book of poetry. I don't think he believes it,but he's a pretty amazing guy. His photography and his personality. I hope he finds someone that is equally amazing, cuz a lot of the guys he talks about are no good. I respect his firmness though. Even though he is nice, he is not to be fucked with. I have never seen someone drop a possible friend as quick as he does.The shoot came out good. I hope it can be edited tight. don't have the best for modeling, but i give it what I can. Here's a lil sample of his work, but that's not me:
The BIG thing recently was my roommates, but who cares anymore. I can't teach kids how to grow up. Then there's been money, but who doesn't worry about that in these whack times. I'm picking up a job that I don't necessarily want to do, while doing big things in dance with nothing to really show in terms of money.I'm sure something will come along, but it's still on my mind. My roommates were late with rent again. I'm scared that the credit that took me four years to build is slowly being destroyed by their lack of discipline, but once again, I guess things will work out later. That's just something I will have to deal with. THUGS finally got into some drama with this kat, bboy Remedy. He caught himself disrespecting us and everybody in the group went BAD on him via facebook. So now i guess we have a rival, but it's whatever. We have different goals anyway. We even lost a member over it, but she needed to go. She does not deserve to be in any family of mine if she's so quick to turn her back on it.
I don't know, there's a lot of negative situations that won't really leave my mind, because they are all unsettled. It would be nice if people would just live their lives and quit trying to be what everyone wants them to be. These situations would all be avoided if that happened.
AAAAaaaahhh but anyway, I got to do a photo shoot with my friend Quar today! We were shooting for his book of poetry. I don't think he believes it,but he's a pretty amazing guy. His photography and his personality. I hope he finds someone that is equally amazing, cuz a lot of the guys he talks about are no good. I respect his firmness though. Even though he is nice, he is not to be fucked with. I have never seen someone drop a possible friend as quick as he does.The shoot came out good. I hope it can be edited tight. don't have the best for modeling, but i give it what I can. Here's a lil sample of his work, but that's not me:
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
I need to post more often!!!!
Too many things happen to me between posts. For one, I might have to start getting on the grind for some kind of job...I now work for Primerica,but that doesn't count, because it's commission. I'm not going to have a guaranteed income off of commission. But it is tight to know that I sell life insurance, so if anybody wants some, hit up the comments. I will only be licensed in California though (still training though). Either way, unemployment made an early stop on me and I now am broke...boo! It's ok. People live like this all the time. I used to be one of them. I'll figure something out.
Man...the situation at home has heated up! At this point, I have been completely disrespected, lied to, and stolen from. All of this and the kitchen is still dirty...I'm not the nice guy anymore, but I held out the nice guy attempt for much longer than most. Whatever friendship I was trying to establish has been incinerated, and i guess I'm just waiting for the end of the lease to be truly be happy at home again. DO NOT EVER move in with people you don't know well.They will set you up. It doesn't matter how clear the rules are before the move happens, they will lie and things will not get done! In the end, you're going to be the bad guy for referring back to rules established in the first place. If you live a busy life and don't need extra stress, then don't do it. Next time I'm squatting somewhere until my trusted friends are ready to move out.That's how I'm living in a nutshell.
But the dance life has never been better. That is my escape and my passion for real. Now that summer break has started, i have been going off inthe dance...First off, me Janae and Eddie won the All In 2 jam...It was my third jam I ever went to,I'm really proud of us. The most amazing thing was me beating Z-Bruh...Looking back, he moved much better than I did, but i was more entertaining to watch apparently...Either way, we won! THUGS is giving me everything I need as far as a freestyle environment, but lately we have been focused more on choreography, since it is our weak point. I hope that everyone keeps up with their freestyle game. We are about to host Sac's first ridiculously big competition! Trying to get Choreo cookies and the Company up here. Think we got the Les Twins coming, and three groups from the bay want to sign up. This event is going to be cool, because we almost all proceeds are going towards scholarships for dancing. Also, this event is going to promote world peace week. All around this is an event with a cause. I feel like in THUGS, I am really living out the purpose of inspiring people and not a specific part of the dance community.
I sent money to mom for my plane ticket, so it is official. I'm visiting my mother for Christmas!!!! I'll be getting ready to move around that time too, so I'll be stoked all around! I mean there's probably more that is going on, but I just wanted to get all of those in the air...Till next time! Let's try not to make it another three months. Oh check out the third place performance for THUGS!!!!!!
Go "like" us on facebook
http://www.facebook.com/thugs916
Man...the situation at home has heated up! At this point, I have been completely disrespected, lied to, and stolen from. All of this and the kitchen is still dirty...I'm not the nice guy anymore, but I held out the nice guy attempt for much longer than most. Whatever friendship I was trying to establish has been incinerated, and i guess I'm just waiting for the end of the lease to be truly be happy at home again. DO NOT EVER move in with people you don't know well.They will set you up. It doesn't matter how clear the rules are before the move happens, they will lie and things will not get done! In the end, you're going to be the bad guy for referring back to rules established in the first place. If you live a busy life and don't need extra stress, then don't do it. Next time I'm squatting somewhere until my trusted friends are ready to move out.That's how I'm living in a nutshell.
But the dance life has never been better. That is my escape and my passion for real. Now that summer break has started, i have been going off inthe dance...First off, me Janae and Eddie won the All In 2 jam...It was my third jam I ever went to,I'm really proud of us. The most amazing thing was me beating Z-Bruh...Looking back, he moved much better than I did, but i was more entertaining to watch apparently...Either way, we won! THUGS is giving me everything I need as far as a freestyle environment, but lately we have been focused more on choreography, since it is our weak point. I hope that everyone keeps up with their freestyle game. We are about to host Sac's first ridiculously big competition! Trying to get Choreo cookies and the Company up here. Think we got the Les Twins coming, and three groups from the bay want to sign up. This event is going to be cool, because we almost all proceeds are going towards scholarships for dancing. Also, this event is going to promote world peace week. All around this is an event with a cause. I feel like in THUGS, I am really living out the purpose of inspiring people and not a specific part of the dance community.
I sent money to mom for my plane ticket, so it is official. I'm visiting my mother for Christmas!!!! I'll be getting ready to move around that time too, so I'll be stoked all around! I mean there's probably more that is going on, but I just wanted to get all of those in the air...Till next time! Let's try not to make it another three months. Oh check out the third place performance for THUGS!!!!!!
Go "like" us on facebook
http://www.facebook.com/thugs916
Monday, February 14, 2011
On to February
This year has started off as nothing short of amazing. I don't think I've ever been confident to this level of my freestyle. Not going to say that I can take anybody's head off, but I've been killing personal goals like at lightning speed. Who wants some. I've come to a point where I want to drastically improve in everything I do. I want it to be like everything I dream for myself comes true.
Chem 31 aint so bad. I thought I was getting in over my head for real! It's just a more precise version of general chemistry. So far we have just been doing review. Not too bad at all!
Living with my new roomies is ok. I can't say they're awesome, but they're definitely not whack. They have some issues with establishing certain priorities, but that just comes with growth. They are still in a younger mindset, since this is their first time out on their own. i definitely can't hate on that. I feel myself getting closer to each of them, but I want to say that I'm holding back a little bit, because they are still in that younger mindset. You all know that younger thinkers can be a little rough with fragile concepts if they don't get their way. I'm just playing it safe for now.
Weird note...I may actually have a serious crush on somebody...I'm not too sure how I feel about that yet. We'll see...that's all. Time to get back to homework....
Chem 31 aint so bad. I thought I was getting in over my head for real! It's just a more precise version of general chemistry. So far we have just been doing review. Not too bad at all!
Living with my new roomies is ok. I can't say they're awesome, but they're definitely not whack. They have some issues with establishing certain priorities, but that just comes with growth. They are still in a younger mindset, since this is their first time out on their own. i definitely can't hate on that. I feel myself getting closer to each of them, but I want to say that I'm holding back a little bit, because they are still in that younger mindset. You all know that younger thinkers can be a little rough with fragile concepts if they don't get their way. I'm just playing it safe for now.
Weird note...I may actually have a serious crush on somebody...I'm not too sure how I feel about that yet. We'll see...that's all. Time to get back to homework....
Sunday, December 5, 2010
2011...
I've been re-evaluating my life as the year draws to a close and some changes will have to be made. A lot has happened since the last time I updated this blog, but I only really write when i need to sort out some thoughts...
First off, my ex-roommate got a job in Tahoe working as a cook for the Ritz-Carlton hotel. For those who don't know, it's one of the best hotels ever. On top of getting this job, he gets to travel after 6 months. Even though I'm happy for him, I kind of miss him. Either way, him moving out has also given me a reason to leave (orbe kicked out!). It's not too bad, but this means I have to find another roommate. I'm so used to living with close friends, and this transition to living with a pair that I'm not as close to kind of scares me...It's ok though...I'm a big boy. I have handled a lot worse. I dread this apartment hunt endeavor that I will have to go on.
I will be taking a my first chem course since I left Solano last spring semester. I'm pretty nervous, but now I will start to dip into my major on a serious note...I have started researching scholarships and internships so I can go in. I'm loving the opportunities being presented to me on this tip. This guy Paul has told me about an internship for the summer. I may be pretty excited to have a chem job for the summer. My growth in dance has been so amazing. I've been trainin for a year and I'm making drastic steps every day. Unfortunately, I have had to do a lot of it on my own lately. My group is on a page than I am and I think it may be time to leave. There are a few opportunities that have presented themselves, and I think that I need to make this next move for me when it comes to dance. I love my PP fam to death (like seriously), but it may be time for me to move on and start building on what they gave me. ya know....Now that I understand how to work as a group member, I need to go somewhere where I can understand myself as a dancer and artist.
Even though I said i would start dating last year, I gave that up up months and I'm still fighting off the repercussions...lol. I would like to start dating again soon. I'm scared,because I really don't like people or trust anyone. I'll work on that too! Just saying that my life is moving forward and most decisions are making me happy, but some aren't You gotta sacrifice when you want something bad enough. I just hope everything goes over well.
First off, my ex-roommate got a job in Tahoe working as a cook for the Ritz-Carlton hotel. For those who don't know, it's one of the best hotels ever. On top of getting this job, he gets to travel after 6 months. Even though I'm happy for him, I kind of miss him. Either way, him moving out has also given me a reason to leave (orbe kicked out!). It's not too bad, but this means I have to find another roommate. I'm so used to living with close friends, and this transition to living with a pair that I'm not as close to kind of scares me...It's ok though...I'm a big boy. I have handled a lot worse. I dread this apartment hunt endeavor that I will have to go on.
I will be taking a my first chem course since I left Solano last spring semester. I'm pretty nervous, but now I will start to dip into my major on a serious note...I have started researching scholarships and internships so I can go in. I'm loving the opportunities being presented to me on this tip. This guy Paul has told me about an internship for the summer. I may be pretty excited to have a chem job for the summer. My growth in dance has been so amazing. I've been trainin for a year and I'm making drastic steps every day. Unfortunately, I have had to do a lot of it on my own lately. My group is on a page than I am and I think it may be time to leave. There are a few opportunities that have presented themselves, and I think that I need to make this next move for me when it comes to dance. I love my PP fam to death (like seriously), but it may be time for me to move on and start building on what they gave me. ya know....Now that I understand how to work as a group member, I need to go somewhere where I can understand myself as a dancer and artist.
Even though I said i would start dating last year, I gave that up up months and I'm still fighting off the repercussions...lol. I would like to start dating again soon. I'm scared,because I really don't like people or trust anyone. I'll work on that too! Just saying that my life is moving forward and most decisions are making me happy, but some aren't You gotta sacrifice when you want something bad enough. I just hope everything goes over well.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Post Birthday
Ha, so I'm officially 23 years old as of april 1st...
I'm not sure if I'm excited. It's weird, because I think this is around the time that I should be grown up...But I still feel like I'm a child to all the grown ups. I even find it hard to believe that high school kids look up to me... Thats strange!
I don't know. Wether it's dancing or life in general, I think I will always see myself as a kid in training. I'm pretty happy with where I am, but time seems to go by too fast.
Dating still sucks, but whatever. Men are stupid! lol...
This past week, my friend TJ came from Florida to visit me for my birthday. Now TJ comes from Panama City, FL. I can say Panama City is a fun area for Spring Break and beautiful beaches, but I'm not fond of living there. TJ isn't either. It's not a place where he feels like he can truly find himself. After being here for only a week, he is ready to move here to Sacramento. If he really goes through with it I think it will be good for him...I'm excited to see how everything goes...
OMG I have a fro hawk
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
